6 – My Grandma
My grandma, who’s name is Rae which is my middle name, is so good with animals. She can just look at them and they will do what she wants, especially cougars.
One day while we were on vacation out in the woods, my grandma decided to go for a walk. When she didn’t come back for a while we started to get worried. Then when I was playing outside I heard a rustling in the bushes. Then came out a cougar and on it’s back was grandma. She said, “How do you like your new pet”?
Next she told us the story of how the cougar was about to pounce on her when she asked it to be my pet and the cougar said yes.
So that’s how I got my cougar, and my Grandma is so amazing.
Wonderful story. It reads really well and catches the reader's imagination. The only place I paused is when you said "Then came out a cougar..."
ReplyDeleteThat is not wrong, but I thought a bit awkward. How about "Then out came a cougar....." It maybe flows a little better; but up to you.
Nice job.
I really like this story. It makes me wish I had an amazing grandma who could bring me a wild animal for a pet. I think that in the first paragraph you should remove the phrase ",especially cougars". The sentence would read "She can just look at them and they will do what she wants." That way when the cougar shows up, its a surprise for the reader.
ReplyDeleteHere I was reading your story thinking it was all true. Imagine how surprised I was when Grandma arrived on the back of a cougar! ^_^
ReplyDeleteYou have a great imagination and you wrote a great story.
Love, Granny
That's cool that you and your grandma have the same middle name!!!
ReplyDelete#19 said-I love your story about your grandma
ReplyDeleteshe must be a very great grandma.