The big game
This is the time when our class went out for an extra recess we were playing Basketball .the team’s were mahamed,abdullahi A,abdullahi M,grayson and tre Vs le, Abdul, Edwin, Maddy, Sharrieff, and Elizbeth. it started out pretty good. But then we were playing really hard. So then the rest of my team tried to get the ball from Edwin. So they did. Abbullahi A crossed everyone on the and tried to shoot it from a three pointer .and so he did it. It was incredible.
Next it was the other team’s ball .they were starting out good .some made 3pointer’s.some made two pointer’s.the other team was kind of good .but Mohamed grabbed the ball from the other team hand. And passed it to me .I tried to shoot it from as far as I could. Then I made it was unbelievable. I never thought I could make it from There. Trust me I was really proud of myself
Later during the game .It was 5 to 10 we were in the lead .the game was fun so then Grayson shot a three pointer. So that made us has 13 point’s. so then it was the other team’s ball so le shot a two pointer so that made them have seven point’s . so that’s when we got angry. So we shot a lot of point’s 10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20 and so we won it was Awesome.
Conclusion when we were vary proud of each other. So then we gust started to yell were really Happy. So that’s when I believed that I was pretty good at basketball and sport’s I didn’t no.
It's cool that you were proud of each other! Very supportive, that's what life is about, lifting each other. Also great that you were able to see your own personal value to the team and your own newfound skill. Awesome! I really like how this piece builds to a fast and flashy finish. You got mad and poured in the points! And then you finished with a nice reflection about the meaning of it all. You also had a really nice verb choice when you said that Mohamed "grabbed" the ball. Very descriptive, I can see that better than if you had just used the word "took", for example. so good choice there. Keep working on those action words.
ReplyDeletehere's a thought: I was a little confused at the start because I didn't see you put yourself on a team as "me". do you see what I mean?
Wow. What a game! It sounded really exciting, especially the long shot you made. I know what you mean about getting angry about starting to lose and trying harder. I do that sometimes when I play Parcheesi with my husband. ^_^
ReplyDeleteI liked your enthusiasm in writing this story. You did a great job.
Love, Granny