If I could spend one week living in another country, I would live in the country China, because it’s my heritage. I’m Chinese, I was born in California, but my dad was born in China.
When I’m in China, I’d like to explore the country, try their foods and see new things. I’d like to live in one of their finest houses, sleep in one of their finest beds, and eat some of their finest foods. While I’m there, I’ll even explore their finest building.
Another thing I’ll do in China is make toys and learn how to make the clay bowls and cups. I would steer the boat to the drop off destination. Then I’d come back to ware one of the robes.
When the week is over, I’d get in the plane to comeback home. When I come home, I would tell my friends and family what I learned, and what I did there. Maybe I’d go back there someday with my friends and family.
In conclusion, if I could live in one country for one week, it would be China, because it’s my heritage. I would have a lot of fun there, would you?! I hope that one day I go to China.
I think it is wonderful that you want to visit the country where your father was born.
ReplyDeleteI have seen videos of China and it is a beautiful country. There would be so much to do and to see and you did a great job of describing what you would like to do there. I liked what you wrote very much.
Thank you for sharing it with me. ^_^
Love, Granny
My favorite thing about this piece: the specific details you include in paragraph 3. the clay bowls and cups, the robes, the boats. All special Chinese things. Super! Also I like how you say, "I'd steer the boat...". That verb steer gives a little action and interest point. So good on ya there, too. You also let the reader know in no uncertain way what you are going to be writing about, and that you are coming to an end.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very focused piece that does not veer from its original intent. Just a thought: could you rewrite the concluding statement so it sounds a little more different from the beginning?
Dear #25,
ReplyDeleteI also want to visit my parents' birthplace, and it is also in Asia, as well as China is. I also like paragraph 3, where you mentioned the clay pots and bowls. I hope you continue writing great peices for everybody to enjoy!
-#27